I was speaking with a client this week regarding a business related matter that I am helping him with and he mentioned the expense of his divorce that he had a different attorney handling. He commented that only the attorneys win and they were the ones making money. I mention this, because I really like the message throughout this book that it is to everyone's benefit, and especially that of children, to make the divorce process as civil as possible. If you don't, you may find yourself in a battle such as Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner in "The War of the Roses."
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To help save money, emotional turmoil, and a lot of time, Nolo's "Essential Guide to Divorce" by Attorney Emily Doskow is a great resource for those facing or going through divorce. The book is full of practical advice regarding the legal side of divorce but does not forget that there is an emotional side to divorce as well. Divorces can be very costly, the small amount paid for this book could save one a lot of time and money.
The book starts out with a discussion on the differences between separation, divorce, annulments, etc. It is a good overview and introduction to the topic. Chapter two then delves into the first steps after you decide to divorce. There is a lot to do and this book helps you sort through what needs to be done when.
Chapter three focuses on Uncontested Divorces, or when you can agree on how you want to divide things and part amicably. If only all divorces could be this easy.
Chapter four is on mediation, or how you can work things out with the help of a mediator. In many states you have to go to a mediation as part of the court process. People can save a lot of money by seeking out a mediator at the onset and working toward resolution early rather than committing to long drawn out fights.
Chapter five covers when you can't agree on things and you have a contested divorce and trial. Chapter six then covers custody decisions and parenting. Chapter seven continues by addressing custody disputes. From there, chapter eight goes into child support.
Chapters nine and ten cover the division of marital property. Chapters eleven covers spousal support and health insurance, while chapter twelve covers special issues with military divorces.
Chapter thirteen focuses on getting it in writing and covers the basics of preparing a marital settlement agreement. Chapter fourteen is an ugly chapter, but a necessary one, that covers issues regarding when things to wrong. Topics such as domestic violence, child abuse, kidnapping, and bankruptcy are discussed here.
Chapter fifteen has a lot of information related to after the divorce while chapter sixteen provides a lot of great resources to find additional information and where to get help.
The appendix provides some additional information and some worksheets to assist you with things such as financial inventories, net worth, income and expenses and budgeting.
Being an attorney, I really liked that this book did not tell you to just do everything yourself, but also provided good information on how to find and work with an attorney. Yes, some divorces can be handled by the parties without any assistance, but sometimes having an attorney can really be beneficial. This book will help make those decisions. I will point out that even though this 2nd edition has updated state laws, it is always prudent to research your own state laws and/or discuss with an attorney licensed in your state to ensure laws have not changed.
Rather than spending money on a "Do it Yourself " divorce book, I think anyone considering divorce would benefit from reading this guide and following the excellent advice provided by Emily Doskow. It is well organized and easy to understand. I really wish so many people didn't need this book, but because the divorce rate is so high, it is a good thing Doskow wrote this guide, because it will help a lot of people.
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